Tell Me Why?

This is the second in a series on Sexual Assaults

For the purposes of this series, perpetrators of sexual offenses will be referred to in the masculine gender, as the majority are committed by men against women, but this is not the only scenario. Since it would be cumbersome to try and incorporate all the possibilities into the articles, it will be written as men against women, with no offense to the male population intended. This is not in any way indicative of men’s behavior in general, just speaks to a small segment of the population.

We are complex, each with our own brains, genetic make-up, and life experiences, all of which work together to form unique characteristics, but do you ever wonder what thought processes drive the decisions we make preceding each action we take? Every decision has a reason, from something as simple as deciding what to wear in the morning all the way up to the complexity of deciding to commit a crime. No matter how minor, all actions serve a purpose. This is the reason we analyze the thoughts and behavior of criminals, to see what makes them “tick”. (“Criminal Minds”, anyone?)

Up until the 20^th century, it was believed that if a man was overstimulated, he would lose control in the presence of a woman, effectively absolving him of all responsibility in a non-consensual encounter. It was around this time that the feminist movement was born, directing more attention to women as victims instead of contributors to the situation, and research into this type of crime found a voice. In 1979, psychologist Nicholas Groth published his book Men Who Rape, a compilation of information gleaned from studying several hundred rapists incarcerated throughout the Massachusetts penal system. He concluded from his studies that the motivations behind sexual assaults had less to do with sexual desire and more to do with sadism, anger, or the desire for power. He called them “pseudosexual acts” and said that they constitute “sexual behavior in the primary service of non-sexual needs.” Although his conclusions were based on empirical evidence, this important research laid the groundwork for further studies into the minds of rapists, and his conclusions persist today.

Sexual assaults are acts of violence, not sex. Perpetrators feel they are entitled to another person’s body regardless of consent. Many start young, around college age. Certainly, rapists are not confined to the college population, but a college setting is ripe for these encounters to occur. Alcohol is flowing, inhibitions are inhibited, and peer pressure is overwhelming. Alcohol and drugs are often used as a means of incapacitating women, and men are more likely to commit sexual assaults if they are surrounded by those who approve of, and even encourage, the behavior

Rapists’ backgrounds are diverse, but there are some commonalities among them. Most, but not all, are unrepentant, and therefore more likely to repeat their crimes. They may attempt to justify what they did without taking responsibility, blaming the victim because of her clothes, alcohol, drugs, being out late, her behavior, or an archaic belief that “no” really means “yes”, etc. In their minds, it’s never their faults. They may even admit to non-consensual sex, but either do not know, or will not admit to themselves, that what they did was defined as rape. They may associate with others who either have committed sexual assaults or who are supportive of this behavior.

Some men have anti-social tendencies and have little regard for the laws and social norms. These people are not deterred by the threat of punishment, or even believe it will come to that. They may be self-centered, manipulative, less empathetic, and have a low regard for women.

Studies continue into this subject, including a new project on the rape culture in Hollywood. Since the #MeToo movement started in 2017, multitudes of complaints have come out of Hollywood about sexual assaults. The deadline for submissions ended on April 30th, but papers were being solicited for information on any aspect of sexual assault in Hollywood. Awareness of the scope of this problem and continued study into the psychological factors that lead to these crimes are essential to reducing the numbers of victims and the rehabilitation of offenders.

Have I Been Raped or Not?

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

This is a repost of one I wrote for http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/news/health/2019/05/13/13745-have-i-been-raped-or-not.html

This article will be the first in a series. Sexual assault is an intricate subject that deserves discussion at each level, not have information lost to the restrictions of one submission. The information comes from research and from my own experiences as a SANE. (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner).

She put on her sexiest outfit, got all dolled up and took an Uber to her favorite nightclub. Music, dancing, lights, drinks, and friends. What a perfect night. She ran into an old boyfriend who offered to buy her drinks. It was nice to see him again, so when he offered to drive her home, she accepted. She was a little tipsy but she wouldn’t have to pay for an Uber. Instead of taking her home, though, he stopped at his place. He said he had some coffee and wanted to sober her up before taking her home. While sipping her coffee on the couch, the advances began. She welcomed them, at first, but he kept going farther and farther, and she wasn’t ready for that level of involvement. She kept saying “No”, but he didn’t listen to her. She was still a little drunk, he was strong, and he forced himself on her. She never told anyone. It couldn’t have been rape, she thought, since she knew him; she went home with him willingly; and she was wearing provocative clothing. She had also reached orgasm, so she figured she had wanted it and had brought it all on herself.  Who would believe her, anyway, nice man that he was? She felt ashamed; she was worried about her health and pregnancy; her trust in him, and men in general, was shattered; and she kept it all inside.

The things she mentioned can be contributing factors in a sexual assault, but she was wrong on one major detail: She was raped. None of those other details matter: not the clothes; not the alcohol; not the fact that she knew him; not because she went home with him; and not even because she reached orgasm, which was very confusing to her. She said “NO”, and “NO means “NO”, every time.

Sexual assaults occur worldwide, and more so in developed, more prosperous nations. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that 35% of women globally have experienced some type of sexual assault. Statistical results by country are probably not accurate because not all rapes are reported in the same way in each country; some countries have lax laws; some don’t keep statistics at all; and some only report rapes perpetrated by men on women, which is not always true. Statistics are not important, anyway; it’s the acts themselves that need to be considered.

A sexual assault has occurred when one person bestows unwanted behavior or sexual contact on another without explicit permission. “No”, or a variation of it, is the only word that needs remembering, even it is uttered during previously consensual activity. It’s understandable that some men may not want to stop in the heat of passion before completion, but, whether they like it or not, if they continue after she (or he) says any variation of that word “no”, and there has been penetration of any kind, it is considered rape in a court of law. The FBI defines rape as “penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” Outside of this, there are various levels of assault, ranging from inappropriate behavior or touching all the way up to rape, with different levels of punishment for each. The fact is that the level of assault makes no difference. “NO” means “NO”. Period.

Next: “The Psychology of Rape.”